I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
