Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
