He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
