I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
