Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize