I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize