I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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