I think i sorta joined a cult last night
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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