o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize