I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this just has baby written all over it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
there is puke in my bra ... again
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