I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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