I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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