are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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