I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize