New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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