Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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