and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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