i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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