I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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