i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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