i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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