In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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