I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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