is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
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Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
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All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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