I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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