Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Come share oat with me in your robe
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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