i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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