God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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