Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
