Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
