I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize