There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
