It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
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she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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