hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
