what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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