I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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