There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
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i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
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I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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