My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
