This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
