i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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