We're facebook friends in real life
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
