I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
