woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
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Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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