so explain again why im purple
no
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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