Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
