I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
