dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
