just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I had to cum in my sink.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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