i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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