I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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