My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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