This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
