So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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