i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
