careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
why do cheetos always look like penises
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
