waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
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Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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