Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
